Exposition: Charlie Simmons, a ten year-old schizophrenic boy, goes on vacation to the south of France with his parents. This being Charlie's first vacation away from home in a while, his parents chat nervously with Charlie's psychologist on the phone, trying to find the right way to make their son feel comfortable in the new environment. Upon arriving at the two hundred year-old farm house now used as a bed and breakfast, Charlie begins to question the integrity of the other people staying at there. His suspicions arise as a little girl named Sarah staying with her grandmother, who owns the bed and breakfast, tries to talk to him. Charlie thinks that she and the others are scheming against him and thus he trusts no one.
Inciting Incident: At dinner, Charlie's mother gives Charlie a pill to take which has a purpose unknown to the reader. The next morning when Charlie's parents are still asleep, Charlie sneaks out of the room and decides to go investigate what he believes to be a plot against him. While walking around the house he runs into Sarah who asks him if he wants to play in a nearby cave, which he perceives to be as a way of getting him alone in order to kill him.
Rising Action: Unable to think clearly because of sheer fright, Charlie follows her obediently and begins to plan an escape. The two walk through the thickening trees, getting farther and farther away from the house. Charlie starts to hear people from behind the trees warning him to get away from her. As they proceed towards the cave, Charlie's suspicions grow into reality when Sarah tells him to not make a sound when they enter so that no one will know that she was the one who killed him.
Climax: When Charlie thinks that Sarah is about to kill him, he runs out of the cave, screaming for his life. He runs without stopping until he reaches the house where his parents were frantically searching for him on the premises.
Falling Action: Sarah follows shortly after, frightened and astonished by what just happened. She and Charlie's parents go off to the side, where Charlie is unable to hear what is being said. This triggers even more suspicions of Charlie's and he runs to his room and locks himself in.
Resolution: After an hour of trying to get Charlie out of the room, his parents are finally able to find another key and get him out. After giving him the mysterious pill again, Charlie and his parents leave the Bed and Breakfast and return home, realizing that it was still too early to introduce Charlie to such a new environment without the necessary help of the pyschologist.
Denouement: In the end, it is made clear to the reader that Charlie is actually schizophrenic and that everything was actually in his head when the conversation between the pyschologist and Charlie's mother is overheard by Charlie.
I really like your storyline! Charlie is a very intriguing character, and you use very descriptive language to develop Charlie and the other characters. I also like the idea you mentioned at the end of not knowing that Charlie is schizophrenic until the end of the story, which will keep the reader hooked throughout the story.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you made this story in the point of view of a schizophrenic. It's very unique and allows you to delight the reader with descriptive language and experiences that they've never experienced. The whole story seems like a climax when you're schizophrenic.
ReplyDeleteAt first i was confused by "the reader", but overallthe story is really exciting, mysterious, and different from everyone else's.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. I'm really interested in seeing how you develop Charlie as a character--especially since, at the end of your story, the reader learns that he is a fairly unreliable source of information. It could be interesting if the pill played a slightly larger role in the plot of the story, but maybe you intended it to remain a mystery? One last thing... do you intend on explicitly stating that Charlie is schizophrenic and that the entire story took place in his head, or do you plan on placing hints throughout the story to allow the reader to infer the same thing? Overall, though, I really liked this idea :)
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