Exposition:
Avery Taylor is a 16 year-old girl who lives with her mom on
the skirts of a river in Northern California. She is quiet and respectful, and
is very lonesome due to the fact that she lives in a remote trailer park where
her and her mother are one of two permanent residents. Her mother tries her
best to home-school her and make money, but its really Avery who does
everything possible to support herself and her mother, who has issues with
alcohol and hasn’t had a job for two years. Avery finds comfort and tranquility
by drawing next to the river, which has become a routine ever since her father
passed away two years previous. While her mother’s tactics for dealing with his
death seem irrational to Avery, sitting by the river and drawing the steady
current, or the fallen trees gives her a sense of peace that no amount of
therapy could ever give her.
Inciting Incident:
Over the past week, Avery has noticed that her mother has
started taking sleeping pills. She was unsure of what she should do at this
point. Her mother spends endless nights drinking, crying, and pacing up and
down the narrow, crowded corridor of their cramped trailer. Avery knew that if
she took her mom’s pills away, it would be for the best, but it would only end
up in more drinking. She decided to not say anything for the moment, and see
what happened over the next few days.
Rising Action:
Avery was hopeful that her mom would slowly ease off
drinking due to her slightly improved attitude, because of all the sleep she
was getting. Little did Avery know, her mother was putting on a façade for her
benefit, but was only getting worse.
Climax:
After Avery’s shift at work, she briefly said hi to her
mother and headed towards the river. Just as she laid her pencil to her drawing
pad, when she heard a loud crash. She scrambled to her feet, and sprinted to
her trailer. Pulling the door open, nearly tripping, she saw her mother laying
on the floor, her hand covered in wounds dripping with blood and a broken vase
with shards of glass scattered all over the floor. She relentlessly tried
waking her mother up but it was no use; she was unconscious. She frantically
dialed 911, and watched the paramedics prop her up on a stretcher about 15
minutes after she had called. She followed them into the parking lot and
climbed into the back of the ambulance with her mother. Avery woke up the next
morning on a cot, next to her mother’s hospital bed.
Falling Action:
Much to Avery’s apprehension, the mix of sleeping pills and
the increase of drinking led to an accidental overdose. The doctors decide that
a permanent rehabilitation center is the best option for her mother. Avery
returns to her dirty, and cluttered trailer park and spent many sleepless
nights blaming herself for her mother’s incident. A few days after she returns
home, she wakes up to find out that a family has just arrived at their trailer
park and is staying for a few months. A girl that is about the same age as
Avery is with the man and woman, and she figures it is their daughter. The girl
approached her that afternoon, as she was sitting at her normal spot by the
river. They ended up talking for a while, and eventually they wander back to
the trailer park. The girl, Emma, invites her to dinner and Avery is
overwhelmed at how genuinely kind Emma is, even though they had only just met a
few hours ago.
Resolution:
Avery meets Emma’s parents, and at some point she feels
obliged to tell Emma and her parents her situation. Emma and her parents responded
with such kindness and were so thoughtful and selfless and invite her to stay
with them as long as she wanted until her mother was home and healthy. Avery ends
up staying with them for their whole trip, and they decide to find a house just
down the road. Emma’s father is a retired professor who helps Avery catch up on
all of her schoolwork, while Emma’s mother helps Avery open up in a way she
never thought was possible. These loving people she had just met took her in
and treated her as their own, and she felt so grateful for them. This new
family was even better then sitting by the river. They made her feel at peace
with her father, and with her mother and that is all she could ever ask for.
I really liked your descriptive language and intriguing story line. I think that you will be able to implicitly characterize Avery and her surrounding environment. This is a really great idea!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story. I like how you created a character who lives a less-than-perfect life, and has
ReplyDeleteto learn how to deal with it. I was delighted when you introduced
ReplyDeleteEmma and her family as a replacement for the river. I like how she overcame her difficulties and YEAH!