Exposition: Two sisters, Cassidy and Joleen, are 11 and 13 years old, respectively. They live in an ordinary, yet cozy house with their parents in a small town. Nothing in particular, they merely live life as it comes to them, like all children.
Inciting Incident: After an accident on a family outing, Cassidy and Joleen are left parentless. With no relatives who live nearby, the sisters have nowhere to go. But luckily, their piano teacher of 7 years hears of the news and kindly insists that the girls stay with him and his wife for the time being. The sisters, devastated from their loss, are still indenial of reality and are reluctant to accept their offer. However, Cassidy and Joleen eventually end up staying with Mr. Wesley, their piano teacher.
Rising Action: The two siblings continue mourning for their parents; they throw spontaneous tantrums and give Mr. Wesley and his wife a hard time. They become extremely inconsiderate and take everything given to them for granted. In the meantime, Mr. Wesley and his wife become less and less attentive towards Cassidy and Joleen. They spend long periods of time sitting around, sullen and solemn with pained expressions. All of this goes unnoticed by the sisters.
Climax: Until one day, Cassidy and Joleen hear sobs and sniffles from outside their room. Curiously, the two follow the sound to find Mr. Wesley and his wife hurriedly wiping their tears away in the living room with a photo album in their hands. There in the photo album are pictures of a boy around their age, 12 or 13 years old.
Falling Action: It is then revealed that 30 years ago, Mr. Wesley and his wife's son had died in a car accident. They too were left devastated like Cassidy and Joleen. Together they cry, letting it all out.
Resolution: Realizing that they all connect in such an experience, they promise each other to live life without regrets, helping each other when it is needed. Together they learn to appreciate every little thing, to work hard, and to enjoy life.
Denouement: Cassidy and Joleen grow up to be successful and happy with families of their own, often visiting their old friends, Mr. Wesley and his wife.
A)I liked the happy ending.
ReplyDeleteB)No confusion.
C)Describe the piano teacher and his wife more, develop the characters more.
I liked how your story was very motivating. I have no suggestions.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the first proposal that I've read so far with a happy ending :) I agree with the above comments.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Charmaine. You might want to develop the girls' relationship with the piano teacher a little more, as it seems kind of strange for them to begin living with someone they only see for an hour or so once a week. I did like your ending, though :)
ReplyDeleteDude your story really interesting. I like how the story ends with a happy ending :) its really simple but really good!
ReplyDeleteI think your story proposal is really interesting and I really like the concept of it. Good job! :)
ReplyDeleteFaustine, this is such a great story proposal with its underlying themes of love, loss, healing and what makes a family. What you describe is also very realistic. Children who lose parents are hesitant to accept new ones, no matter how loving. Characterization is going to be key in this story, so make sure you "show not tell" the emotions your characters are experiencing. Also, think about point of view. It is often very difficult to realistically recreate the emotions of children. What if it were first person looking back, with one of the girls as narrator, or what if it shifted b/w the girl's point of view and the piano teacher's
ReplyDeleteYour story proposal is something that I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. I really liked how the focus in the beginning is on the two girls but later also focuses on Mr. Wesley and his wife which shows how even though sometimes people feel alone, there may be unspoken connections between them. Overall I really like this proposal.
ReplyDeleteYour proposal is very realistic and relatable to many people who have experienced loss and tragedy. It is very well written and has really good character development. I also like how Mr. Wesley and his wife and the two girls form a bond through similarities. I really like it!
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