Naomi H's Short Story Proposal

Exposition: Connor Bailey, a twenty-something artist, has never known peace.  In his neighborhood, ash and soot swirl through the air like charred snowflakes.  Wherever he looks, the ravaged skeletons of bombed-out buildings catch his eye.  He hates the shades of gray that cover everything.  He hates that the only colors in his pictures are black and white and gray.    

Thousands are drafted into the army to fight for a cause that no one really understands anymore.  Everyone knows that the war began many years ago; however, no one really understands why the war is still going on.  In fact, very little information about the war is available to normal civilians. 

Inciting incident: As he heads into town, carrying a stack of paintings that he hopes to sell, Connor learns that one of his neighbors has died in the war. Although he was never close to this neighbor, their death reminds Connor of the price of war.  In town, he checks in at the local recruiting office, just as he is required to.  A recruiting officer informs him that he is going to be sent to basic training before the end of the month.  Connor is given the necessary paperwork and told to return it within a week. 

Rising action: Impulsively, Connor burns his stack of paintings, reasoning that there is no longer a use for them.  The government is stealing away his life, sacrificing him in exchange for a cause that perhaps even they do not really understand.  He watches the ashes float into the smoky sky, wondering why he is being forced to give up everything for a war that benefits no one.

Climax: Connor paints one last picture as he spends the night wondering whether hiding from the government for the rest of his life after avoiding conscription will really be any better than spending the next five years at war.  By the end of the night, he has recreated what he thinks his neighborhood would look like if one took the trouble to scrape away every layer of ash and to rebuild every gutted home.

Ultimately, however, Connor decides to go to war, realizing that he doesn’t really have another option.  He returns to the recruiting office the next morning, paperwork completed.  He is marched into a steel-walled room… 

Falling Action: (added post-feedback) Two years later, Connor is on leave.  He returns to take a look at his old apartment.  Surprisingly, the destruction that characterized his neighborhood just two years ago has been mostly repaired, as the war front has moved farther and farther away.  However, the reader learns that Connor’s vision has been damaged in the war—he is colorblind.  Connor has also learned that there really is no meaning to the war anymore—men kill other men simply because it’s been done for so many decades that nobody understands how to do anything else.  

         
Resolution: Connor pulls a rolled-up canvas out of his knapsack—his last painting.  He still remembers that last, desperate night spent washing color after color across the skyline of his painted town.  He remembers being a little boy, wondering why everything around him was gray with ash and smoke.  When he left, he had hoped to come back someday to a city where the colors of destruction did not coat every surface—but such a city could never exist for him now.  The war had taken everything from Connor, leaving behind only an empty shell where his dreams of a city bathed in butter-yellow sunlight had once resided.  Connor Bailey's whole world is made of shades of gray, and he despises it.